Thank You

Friday, May 30, 2008

NOTE: The following is going to look different from my other posts. It's kind of like creative writing I suppose, but it's a way to get some stuff off my back. I'm not going to both explaining what it's about, but enjoy it anyway.

She is quiet during the ride home.
She sleeps.

Never ending thoughts of what went wrong. Why it didn't turn out the way she had planned. Why she felt the way she does now. Why, why, and why.

She looks down and lays her head onto her pillow. It reeks the smell of a room that hasn't been cleaned in a couple months. But she likes it that way. It reminds her of herself, and her unorganized mess of a room. She smiles at the thought but disappears at as she remembers why she is feeling depressed as she is now.

Pulling out her iPod she clicks it onto shuffle and closes her eyes. Images of the night before fill her mind. The lights, the music, the night she had waited for.

And now a night she ending up dreading.

She understood what she had to do.
Breaking a heart never was easy, she had heard it before.
She never thought it would be her turn.

She glances out the window and looks at the overcast clouds. A gloomy mood had settled over the highway. Her parents are oblivious to her thoughts. They instead talk about what to cook for dinner that night, and listen to CCR, and end up arguing about the cost of the dinner out the night before.

It's usual.

They don't pay attention to the single tear that falls down her cheek.
She wipes it away and closes her eyes again.
There would be more to come.

Upon arrival home, she crawls into her bed pulls a blanket up over her head and closes her eyes hard. The images don't seem disappear. She stuffs her blanket into her mouth and screams. The blanket muffles her ever present cry for help. The tears flow regularly, staining her face and sheets.

There would be more to come.

The next morning is sunny.
Her heart is dead.

He doesn't understand.
She wanted what was there. But not him.
She doesn't really understand either.

But what's done is done.
What's through is through.
One heart broken, one relieved.
And also broken.

The next months are beyond anything she has ever faced. She feels unlike anything she has ever felt. Is this the emotion of pain, beyond emotional distress? Is this the feeling of losing something that never was? Or perhaps it's the emotion of being alone, and being lost. The wanting to be found by someone who would understand.

The wanting of what almost was.

So she thanks you.
She thanks you for the memories

The pain.
The tears.
The anger.
The distress.

She also thanks you for the happiness

The joy.
The company.
The smiles.
The hugs.
The feelings.

But it's gone.
What almost was, isn't anything anymore.

"When you said you loved me; was that something we just said, or do you still feel that way? "

Respectfully submitted,


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  2. Wow Leah that was awesome. I really liked the flow.

    Oh and this is me Aaron. Haha my blogger name is Hikaru. XD