Thursday, September 25, 2008

I think I've been a little impatient with myself lately.
I want things to hurry up and happen, so I can feel happy and content.
I'm not realizing what I already have, and understanding I don't need these things, I just want these things to happen.

Chances are, they aren't the pathway I'm walking on, so I might as well focus my attention on more important things. I'm not considering it "giving up," more of just "letting go."

But it's hard when something is so close to you, you can almost taste it. You want it so bad, it's not even understandable. It's flooding your mind, your thoughts, even affecting the way you live. And the realization that it's most likely and probably not going happen, doesn't seem to cross your mind more often than it should.

It'll soften the blow, when it eventually does happen.

It's just maybe it's been so long that I've felt like this, it's almost an ache in my side that is desperately waiting for this to happen. I haven't been the luckiest person in the world, and right when fate seems to throw me the exact remedy I need, it's right outside of my reach. It's so close.

And I'm starting to want it so much more than I thought I'd ever be possible of.

I'm scared of the hurt that most likely and eventually will happen.
I'm scared that it's going to be more than what I can take,
but I've rebounded before, and I'm okay now.

Something makes me wonder if things will just be different this time. Just this once, if things would actually work out the way I want them to, and before I knew it, I'd be head over heels in the moment and living out the dream I've thought about every night.

For once, I just wish things would magically fall into the place, the way I wish they would.

"And now I'm speachless, over the edge I'm just breathless, I'd never thought that I'd catch this, lovebug again. Hopeless, head over heels in the moment, I never thought that I'd get hit, by this lovebug again."

Respectfully submitted,


  1. What the heck? You shouldn't be so vague - no one can help you if they don't know what in the world you are talking about.