I wasn't aware people read my blog.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Truly, I wasn't.

But from today's events, up to this very moment...I'm starting to pull into realization that I'm not alone in this world. There are people that care, there are people who know when to confront me and when to sit me down and let me talk.

It was just a little strange that what I posted last night, led to me sitting in a counselor's office today during 4th period. Apparently, someone read my blog post, felt that I was being really personal with how I was feeling, called the counselors at school, and asked they call me in and just talk. I wasn't aware that people actually read the rants, vents, and feelings I post up in my own little part of the Internet.

Like, I know I have friends that care about me. I know if I really needed someone to talk to, they would be there for me. I have lots of people, adults included who would be there for me when I really need them. But I just don't know if they would understand. I'm not bottling up emotions just to let them explode later, and I'm handling everything pretty well. When life gets me down, and when I do feel down on myself, I'm in a pretty crappy mood.

Juana sent me a flair that said "Only camp friends understand," and it pretty much sums up every single thing I wanted at that moment. It's kind of true, I feel as if the people I met at camp are not like more trustworthy, they just look at things differently than people I see everyday. More than ever I want to be able to just live up at the mountain. Every time when things get stressful, I find myself thinking of the good days at camp, and just being able to relax, sit on the grassy knoll, play my guitar, and just be peaceful.

I'd like to go back, and just relax.
But there's a million and one things to do now that school is in full swing.

I do want you to know, if you are reading this, that I'm okay. I'm not suicidal, I'm not depressed. When I get down, I fall back a little and what not. I can have bad days, I can have a bad week, or month...but I know I'm going to be okay. I'm an optimistic person, and there is a brighter side to everything. There are lights at the end of the tunnel and I know I have a firm foundation to stand on when things get rough.

And now I'm going to go indulge myself with my mother's dessert.
Thank you.

"It's hungry time."

Respectfully submitted,


  1. Good thing you realized that more people than just you are reading.