Vulnerability

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I don't like to be vulnerable in music.

I don't like to write intricately enough that a person can say see they were the inspiration for that song.

I don't want to be known as the "Taylor Swift" who considers revenge a Billboard Top 100 song that millions listen to. I don't want to be able to say in my album insert "To all the boys who inspired these songs: you should've known ;)"

But vulnerability is important in songwriting. Sometimes the wound needs to be cut a little deeper, to ooze out the infection before it can completely heal. It's healthy. It's reveals deep emotions, brings out life-changing lyrics and melodies that go deeper than anything else.

Tonight, I wrote one of those songs. I cut open a wound I had been stitching up for a while, I ripped it open and let it bleed out a song of words I've needed to write. I took a leap of faith and wove in details, images, memories that whosoever inspired this song would instantly recognize. I tied it together with a simple melody, a resounding chorus that brings forth the message I've held for so long under those stitches.

So, I guess I can say "you should have known " for this song.
I'm not planning on saying that for many more to come.


Not Anymore
You took a piece of me. Turned into everything
Left me in ruins, and I built myself back up
When you left without a good-bye. Just figured I would be better in time
Did you think I'd still be thinking of you, tonight
Cause time might heal your wounds - if you had any
And you cut me deep, oh you bled me dry

We lock eyes across the room
And I know we're finally through
You don't want to hold me, not anymore
Forget your hand in mine
The way you smile, the way you shine
On those dim-lit walks back home
We're never gonna be the way we were before
Not anymore

Just when you were close enough. When I started to believe
This could happen to me, you lost your footing
Fading fast, faster than I could catch, drift of what was happening
You said those words to me - that warm July night
Said you can't see me as more than a friend

We lock eyes across the room
And I know we're finally through
You don't want to hold me, not anymore
Forget your hand in mine
The way you smile, the way you shine
On those dim-lit walks back home
We're never gonna be the way we were before
Not anymore

I miss looking at the stars
Holding your hand
Not afraid if anyone saw
I miss our late-night talks
I miss our midnight walks
To the dark side of the moon
And when I asked what was on your mind
You looked me in the eyes and said "You."

But when we lock eyes across the room
I know we're finally through
You're not gonna hold me, not anymore
J forget your hand in mine
The way you smile, the way you shine
On those dim-lit walks back home
We're never gonna be the way we were before
Not anymore

No, no, we're done here.
We're done here
Not gonna be the way we were before
Not anymore.



The wound was cut a little deeper tonight.
I think it'll heal correctly now.



"What are you thinking about?"
"You."

Respectfully submitted,
Leah

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