Adorn and Assassins.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

This has been one hell of a week.

I'm not really sure if I could pick one adjective in turn to describe it, but as I type out this particular blog post in the library on an overcast Saturday afternoon, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Let me summarize as best as I can.
God has restored the joy in my life.

There's something about being in a very uncomfortable place in life that forces you to realize what you have to be thankful for, who you trust in, and the effort required in making the long trek out of that low ditch. That's been this week.

Long classes, heavy coursework, the beginning of work in Admissions, and feeling overwhelmed. Then, upon the bright silver lining that is Friday, I find myself at Adorn at Reality Carp. It was a bit of a surprise on my own, just deciding one afternoon I wanted to check this out, and why not? It's not like I had any other plans for Friday night.

It was probably the best decision I could have made when I was stuck in that ditch of last week.

Packing the sanctuary full of college students from Westmont and beyond, praising our Lord and hearing Lazo speak words I've needed to hear. It was an incredible and enlightening experience. And realizing that when I'm worshipping God, when I'm in that place of vulnerability, humility, and complete and total honesty, Satan has absolutely no hold upon me.


I've been crying out to my Father so much this past week, seeking deliverance from this madness, and then coming into this place where I've found it, where I've experience the Lord restoring joy to my life, and watching this prayer be answered has been amazing. I can't even describe it. Words don't do it justice.

I've found the peace I've been searching for. In the One who's been here this whole time, with arms wide open, inviting me back to where I need to be, and yet I've ran. I've tried to fix everything on my own, focusing on what is wrong and how I can resolve the loneliness. But when it all crashed down, when I fell asleep with nothing but tears, when I was completely convinced that I was alone, He picked me up. He held me close and told me it's going to be okay. He lavishes this amazing, and pure peace upon me, and everything feels right.

A song we sang last night summed up everything I've been needing to say to God, in a melodic and soft tone of fear that I cling to. But as the words hit my heart, and my heart began to cry out, the tears came and I realized fully and completely that I will never, ever be alone. No matter where I go, how far I run, God will always be there. And I can't thank him enough.

God is so good.

After this amazing evening, I had the opportunity to join in with some college students in a game of Assassins. Which was another great decision this week :)

Assassins with a rowdy bunch of college students, dressed up in black, face paint and all.

Laughing too hard, running around downtown Santa Barbara, hiding in bushes, jumping through yards, getting chased by cars with flashing lights, finding my way to the Mission despite having no idea of direction and then the sense of accomplishment when finally arriving there.

I smile even now, the next morning after 3 hours of homework (and probably another 4 to go). It was such a good way to start my weekend, and I can't thank God enough. There is so much I fear and worry about in this beginning of my sophomore year, and it's foolish. I fear none but the Almighty, and He wants the best for me. In fact, he's making the best come true in my life everyday, even though I don't realize it.

This is a new start.
This is what I've needed all along.

"I'm so forgetful, but You always remind me. You're the only one who brings me peace."

Respectfully submitted,

On a side note: Here is the song that hit my heart so hard last night. My prayer is that it might break yours down so you can be rebuilt as well. Blessings.