happy 1 month of home.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

So, it's been a while since I've blogged, so this post could go two ways - it could be an extremely lengthy and drawn out, or short and more bullet-point style. Following the tradition of most of the other posts on this blog, I haven't really planned out anything beforehand.

What is new in my life...

I celebrated the 1 month anniversary of being home last week. It was quite odd to be honest. I haven't done much this month. In fact, I haven't really done anything. Sure, I went and saw my brother in Boston, I managed to unpack and organize all of my new Middle Eastern finds in my room, but other than that...I have taken to hiding out in my room and trying to stay out of the way. I don't think it's been very beneficial to the re-entry process, but it is what feels most comfortable right now. And even though it feels right, something about just laying on my floor staring at the ceiling fan spin around and around is not as satisfying after an hour as it is in the first five minutes.

Life has been so ridiculously different from what it was for the majority of this year and I'm still trying to be "okay" with that. Still attempting to be content and alright with the fact that this is my life now. I'm no longer waking up to snow-covered rooftops, listening to foreign language and wandering through the winding passages of the Grand Bazaar. I'm no longer around the other 21 students who became my abroad family, who know me - the me in class, the me in the dorms, and the me on a lack of sleep and too many hours on a tour coach. I miss them, and being at home where I haven't really seen anyone (or really been interested in seeing anyone for that matter) has been difficult.

But thankfully (and here is another "new" aspect of my life quickly approaching) I'm headed up the mountaintop this weekend to begin another summer on staff at Calvin Crest. I've begun the packing process, simultaneously organizing tidbits of my life for school in the fall, since after my work is over I have three days to get myself down to Santa Barbara before I jump headfirst into RA training. Which is also quickly approaching, whether I am ready for it or not.

I don't really know what this summer will hold. I've been thinking a lot recently about what it will be like, to go back to the familiar campgrounds for a third summer as a staff member, and the twelfth summer in a row. My heart is in a very unusual place right now, coming off of such a formulate and moving semester, one that has stretched my mind and has me itching to jump back on a plane, fly to Israel, sit on the rooftop of the Austrian Hospice and breathe in the Jerusalem air while I chow down on a falafel. Part of me knows that the perfect remedy is two long months in the "thin space," where I can sit silently and listen to what God is telling me and my restless heart, where I can breathe in fresh mountain air and chow down on some typical SYSCO camp meals, where I'm surrounded by people who know me (maybe even better than I know myself) and where I have learned so much before.

I have a few more days till I move into my new camp digs, and they are going to be spent organizing and taking care of last minute things around home. Don't get me wrong, I am SO incredibly excited for this summer. I've been looking forward to working as a program assistant for so long, and finally getting to fulfill that dream and serve others in the process is such a blessing. I'm just beginning to realize how long of a process re-entry will be and am a bit concerned about how that will play out now that I am stepping foot into the "camp world." A world full of  less sleeping hours, lots of dirt, plenty of pine needles, 40ish college aged kids working various jobs, dance parties, nonstop energy, and hundreds of guests upon the mountaintop.

I've been learning a lot over this month...so there will probably be some more posts detailing those as I organize my mind before heading up the mountaintop.

Here's to 1 month of home, and the upcoming two months in the camp world.

Respectfully submitted,