life currently.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

It's been quite a while since I've taken time to write.

Even though I should be reading for class, starting a paper and organizing work for tomorrow, I'm being intentional about taking some time to write. Because life currently is a roller coaster of emotions, hard days, long days, great days and not so great days. Life currently is a never-ending surprise, a lesson learned over the 24 hours gifted to us with each new morning, and I feel as though I need to share that with you all.

And that's exactly what I plan to do.

Life currently is waking up before my alarm goes off.

The sunlight drifting into my bedroom from my window blinds, slowly warming up my bedroom with the soft glows of sunrise, reminding me that I will need to get up soon, as I wrap my comforters around my body and try to drift back off to sleep. My body clock has become adjusted to early mornings, spent wrapped in a soft blanket, sitting in front of an open bible and journal, a hot cup of coffee nearby. I've fallen in love with these quiet mornings, spent in scripture and prayer over the day, weeks, and months ahead.

Life currently is quiet mornings.

I have penned a thousand words in my journals over the years, but life currently is setting aside time to pick up the pen again and being diligent to continue writing. Life currently is reflected in my journal entries, where each one comes to an end with the words, "I trust in you, Lord" over and over again. I have written those words in my journal more than I ever have before. These quiet mornings have become routine, but it is comfort, it is familiarity, it is something that feels like home.

Life currently is bike rides to work.

Leaving the house promptly fifteen minutes before I am scheduled to be at work, I walk out my door and into the crisp morning air. Life currently is feeling the cold air against my face as I ride to work, the bright sun illuminating my neighborhood. It is the feeling of my feet on the pedals, slowly riding towards the office, the weight of my backpack on my shoulders, the sounds of The Head and the Heart in my earbuds, providing familiar tunes as I head out each new day.

Life currently is work I love do.

How blessed am I to say that statement. To see the purpose and feel overjoyed at the work I do on campus. Life currently is going all in with students, walking through the messiness and difficult situations, laughing in our office and rejoicing with their triumphs. These students inspire me to be a world changer, to channel my passions and gifts into what the Lord has directed me to do, affirming what I feel as though I am called to.

Life currently is transitional.

Applications, interviews, reference letters, and an ever-changing plan for this summer and next year. I have gone through weeks of phone interviews, selling myself as a worthy candidate for internships and jobs for next year, putting my liberal arts education to good use and my communications studies degree to even better use. Life currently is remembering my worth does not lie in a job offer, but rather what I can offer to potential jobs. Who I am, at my core. What I am passionate about, the unique traits that make up the individual I am. Life currently is identity development, discovering the little pieces of myself I have missed, as I continue down the path towards my future career.

Life currently is feeling loved.

It is the acts of kindness from a young man who has now become a constant part of my life, the intentionality behind his actions from our first date in August to just last week as we spent another Saturday evening together. It is discovering how to do this whole "dating" thing, with many mistakes and apologies, leading to humble forgiveness and growth together. I am realizing I have no idea how to be a girlfriend, and that is okay. Life currently is figuring things out along the way. It is handwritten notes, expressing gratitude for each other, prayers for the upcoming months, and thankfulness to our Lord for the way He has brought us both together. It is home-cooked meals and quality craft beer, spontaneous trips to Disneyland to escape the city and feel like a kid again, life currently is that smile that says "I have no idea how this all happened, but I am so, so, thankful for it all."

But life currently is sometimes hard.

It is feeling exhausted after major programming, it is feeling tired and worn out, wanting nothing but long days with no plans, a clear calendar and a clear mind. It is sometimes feeling defeated, crying into the shoulders of my boyfriend on my patio, not understanding why things are the way they are. It is crying out to God, why, why, why, and feeling frustrated when I don't get the answers I want. Life currently is realizing that the "why's" no longer matter. The messiness of life is inevitable, but the bigger inevitable is the confidence of what God has given to us.

Life currently is resting in God's promises.

I cannot tell you how many times I have laid in bed, with nothing but prayers of gratitude on my lips. I am suddenly in awe of what God has gifted to me, what the Lord has given to me in opportunities, individuals, experiences, and rest in him. The only words my humble spirit can offer up are "Thank you, thank you, thank you," as I close my eyes and fall asleep in the bliss of thankfulness. There is not a more humbling act than realizing how little you are, and yet how much the creator of the universe cares about you and your seemingly insignificant life.

There is not a more satisfying confidence than realizing your life is in His hands. That the hands which crafted our expansive universe, placed every single star in the sky, created our beautiful planet and the even more beautiful people who inhabit it, hold your little life in His hands. He declares it purposeful, meaningful, and significant. Life currently is coming to that realization, and even though the uncertainty of the future seems strong, I know I can rest in the certainty of God's promises for my life.

When I think back to where I was a year ago, life was currently trying to figure out my future. It's funny how some things don't change, but others do. My faith in the Lord is stronger than it has ever been, as I head into another transitional season. Life currently is resting in the promises of Psalm 91,
"This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust in Him."
He has brought me thus far, and I know He will continue to walk with me as I figure out plans for summer, this next year, and my future life.


Life currently is an adventure.
And I am so thankful for each and every opportunity.



Respectfully submitted,
Leah

1 comments

  1. This is beautiful Leah. Thanks for sharing your heart and your life so openly. Love you!

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